we all have a way that we see things. in an conversation, its really an exchange of each other’s perspectives.
i love having conversations, i love learning the little details in their life and their thoughts. it is honestly a very attractive thing that perhaps coined us as “social creatures”. we are so drawn to this like moths to a naked flame, we burn ourselves when we play too dangerously.
a conversation is a dialogue, it is something carried by both parties. that brings me to my point that though conversations are formed through an exchange of perspectives. however, when one forces his/her perspective on you, its becomes a tiring when it is not supposed to be. its supposed to be a respite from life troubles. ideally speaking of course.
yet most conflicts and fall outs happen because of conversations. its saddening that friendships break apart and people fall apart because of this.
its a particularly distressing occurrence in my young adult life, a difference perspectives that eventually led to conflicts.
rest assured when i say i have always been tolerating and giving in because i feel that conflicts are not worth it in the grand scheme of things. a relationship holds more precedence than winning an argument. but its a shame some don’t share this with me.
i proudly (and widely) classify myself as a pacifist. i try my hardest to please everybody to keep everyone happy but i guess it was not enough, not today and not on the 22nd year of my human life. because eventually, they become desensitized.
i have taken multiple steps back but you still inch forward, do you really have to do this? does this friendship not mean anything?
things that i may not have handled so well get singled on and hurtful comments were hurled. it hurts, the things they say. hurts real bad. but what comes after hurts even more.
all the things i did is easily brushed aside and they are focused on the negative things. its really unfair and i am questioning the past 22 years of my life and how i have handled things. is this right way to do this? is this fair to me?
why should i live to please others when they don’t really care and they are just obsessed with themselves.
just because you are angry doesn’t mean you are right
just because you are angry doesn’t mean you can say anything you want and think that it’s okay because it is not.
just because i always laugh and forgive doesn’t mean i am okay.
just because of this, i am in a dilemma.
i am trying to find an answer, but this has given me a new perspective. why do i have to wholeheartedly devote my attention to maintain their happiness? lets just live for myself.
this has made me reevaluate values that i thought were unshakable. when you try to be nice, its easy to taken advantage of
my thoughts and growth 